Mention the word Tinder in certain circles and you'll be met with reactions like: "That's just for hooking up," or "You're on Tinder?!" But, more and more millennials are starting long-term relationships by swiping right — and some are even getting engaged.
Of course, we don't have to tell you that it makes sense. We do everything else on our phones, and if you live in L.A. you know that it’s hard to meet someone, given our car culture and sprawling city. Unless you have a particular affection for our bar scene or are lucky enough to spark an office romance, getting a date with someone you actually want to see is no easy task.
Forget the horror stories you may have heard (or experienced firsthand!). The following three couples have incredibly different relationships, but they all have two things in common: They met on Tinder, and they moved very, very quickly. We're talking "I love you" within a week, moving in within a month, and buying homes within six months. Welcome to the future of dating in L.A.
John & Casey
John, 34, is a programmatic advertising specialist at Yahoo and Casey, 28, is the founder of Minx Society and works in real estate. They got married in Calabasas, California just a few days before our interview.
How did it all start?
John: "I was on Tinder for about a month and most of my dates were just terrible. There was zero anything afterwards, until Casey."
Casey: "I met John on Tinder an hour after I joined. My best friend said, 'I'm so sick of you dating all these immature losers,' because I was living in Hollywood and I wasn't meeting a serious guy. I'm such a relationship person and I was looking for 'the one.' I really was. Everyone I met was totally nowhere near that. In fact, the guy I was dating before John was 21. I'm 28."
John: "I'm 34."
Casey: "So, my roommate said, 'You have to get on Tinder'. Literally, within an hour, my best friend and I were sitting on the couch and he popped up. His pictures were very vague, but his number one picture was him speaking at a wedding in a tuxedo. So, I was like, 'Whoa, this guy's sexy.' I don't want to waste time, so I developed three questions. Number one: Where do you live? Number two: What do you do? And number three: What do you do for fun? Normally, people would fail on the first question. They would say something like, 'I like to eat burritos for fun.' Automatically, I would know that person's a weirdo."
What was your first date like?
John: "I picked her up at her house. We went and had drinks; I got a new job that day, so I was like, 'Let's get some champagne, let's toast.' Then we went to dinner, then we went to the Roosevelt to meet up with her brother."
Casey: "It was balls to the wall. We were out all night. It was so fun. I had never been treated like that ever in my life. Even with a boyfriend of two years — he had never been that nice to me. We had the best time ever. We both knew it after that. He called his family and I called my family and I was like, 'I met my husband.' I just knew it right away. It was just super fast from then on. We bought a house together just a couple months after dating. We completely gutted and renovated it and lived at my parents' house while it was getting finished. Survived that. Then, got two puppies. Survived that. Then, he proposed."
Wait, you bought a house together after a few months?!
Casey: "I'm also a real estate agent, and he wanted me to show him houses. I showed him the first house and my mom showed up for some reason — my mom pops up everywhere; she stalks us. So, we go in, me being his agent and he's my client. He takes me out front, puts his arm around me, and he's like, 'This house would be perfect for us.' I was like 'Whaaat?' We celebrated, we went out to Casa Vega for lunch with my mom; we had margaritas. That was the first time talking about moving in together."
John: "There was no doubt before that [that we'd move in together], but that was when we talked about it."
Casey: "My mom was like, 'Should we buy the sex swing or the baby swing first?' [laughs]. I always wanted to have kids, but then when I met John, I needed them. It was so weird. We want to have like 20 kids."
Tell me your engagement story.
John: "I knew I wanted to have all of our families around. So, I arrange for my family to come down this Thanksgiving and we'll have it at her parent's house. I'm from San Francisco. The weekend before was her grandma's 80th birthday in Carmel. So, I asked her dad that weekend before. Everyone was there. I didn't want her mom to know, because she has a big mouth. Only her dad knew. I stood up and pretended to make a toast, and then sort of launched into it."
Casey: "He got down on one knee. I was shaking and crying. Almost barfing. Everything was crazy. We were all just about to eat. I was so shocked, so shocked."
Adam & Samantha
Adam, 31, is a reality TV producer (hint: on a very popular dating show) and Samantha, 31, works in finance for a real estate company.
Tell me how it all started.
Samantha: "I'd been on Tinder for maybe two or three months and had gone on four or five dates. They were fine; I wanted to be friends with all of them, but, I never went on two dates with the same person."
Adam: "I was on for about two or three months. I was also using OK Cupid. I never went on a date from Tinder other than with Sam. I was using Tinder to see who else was out there and who I would match with. We matched up three days before I was about to leave the country for for six weeks for work, so I didn't message her. But, then Sam wrote to me.”
Samantha: "I had never reached out to a guy. I think it was 11:00 at night, and I was at home watching Dateline, and I was like, 'Oh fine, I'll message him.' He has a screenshot of it. I said, 'Is it customary for the girl to wait for the guy to reach out first?' He responded with like, 'It's an iPhone app, I think all rules are off.'"
Adam: "But, I was already shooting the show and living in a hotel in L.A. My life is consumed by it when I'm doing it."
So you waited six weeks to meet in person?!
Samantha: "Yeah! We talked so much that I had said to a girlfriend of mine, 'He's either going to be my best friend or I'm going to marry him.'"
What was your first date?
Samantha: "He had tickets to see Ben Harper at the Walt Disney Music Hall and we got drinks before at Perch downtown. I got to the bar and we hugged. It was really good. I've seen so many photos of him, so I knew there wasn't going to be any surprises. Besides the fact that he was an inch shorter than he stated."
Adam: "One-quarter of an inch!"
Samantha: "I told him the only Ben Harper song I knew was 'Forever.' That's when he kissed me; when that song was playing [at the concert]."
How long were you together before you moved in together?
Samantha: "Depends if my dad's reading this. [Laughs] Technically speaking, he moved in probably four months after."
Tell me about the proposal.
Samantha: "I had a day planned with my girlfriend, and she had tickets to the Disney Music Hall for a NPR concert. I was thinking really we're going to the Disney Music Hall?' I searched the website, and sure enough, the artist {she told me we were seeing] was playing. So, I thought 'it must be a coincidence.'"
Adam: "I told her I had to work for my uncle that day, so I'd be gone all day and be busy."
Samantha: "When we got these I looked up and he's standing at the top of the stairs. I don't remember a lot, except him asking if I knew why he was there. He said a bunch of stuff I don't remember, including, 'Will you marry me?'"
Adam: "You said you really wanted to call and tell people, but I said we should take a deep breath and go to Perch and get a glass of champagne."
Samantha: "We go up to the rooftop, and I walk out and all of our friends are there. I started hysterically crying. One of my friends from Houston had flown in, I looked between the crowd and my mom was there. We were loud, hysterically crying. Ugly crying. I couldn't believe she was there, and that she knew and didn't blow it.
Adam: "One of my favorite parts of the day was waking up that morning and knowing she had zero idea our lives were about to change. She went on her way, and I nervously paced around, and maybe had a whiskey, got in an Uber, and went over."
Alex & Neda
Alex, 28, is a risk analyst for an oil and gas trading company and Neda, 27, is a senior origination analyst for a (different) oil and gas trading company.
Why were you initially on Tinder?
Alex: “When I started, it was just for fun, just kind of an ego thing. She was the only one I went out on a date with.”
Neda: “My girlfriend told me about it and we were seeing who would get more matches [Laughs]. I only had it for a few days when we matched."
Who messaged who first?
Alex: “I messaged her. It’s actually a famous line among my friends. I said, ‘Hi, Neda’ and waited a couple minutes. Then I said, ‘Bet you weren’t expecting such a smooth opener. She started laughing."
Tell me about your first date.
Neda: “We were both living in Houston and he suggested we meet on that Friday, but that was the night of my going away party because I was moving back to L.A. [where I'm from] in two weeks. So, we went out right away. We went to get drinks and ended up closing down the bar."
Alex: “There were no awkward silences, no awkward pauses. Everything I expected and hoped it to be based on our conversation on Tinder ended up materializing and being the same in person. ”
Neda: “We hung out every single night as much as we could for, literally, two weeks straight. We said 'I love you' after a week.”
What was long distance like after you moved?
Neda: “Luckily, I traveled back to Houston a lot for work; we did it for a year. My company would pay for it, and I could stay at his apartment and work out of our Houston office. So, I could see him for a week at a time, as opposed to if he came to see me, it would just be for a couple days. We saw each other at least once a month.”
Alex, when did you decide to move to California?
Alex: “We had talked about it a lot and set dates on when I could possibly move. All my family and friends are in Texas, but she had been wanting to move back to California because this is where all of her family is. I was going to break my lease at like six months to move out here, but there was no point in rushing, so we waited.”
Did you ever think about not telling people you met on Tinder?
Neda: “Yes. I didn't tell older people [at first], but for young people our age, we were the biggest advocates. Two of my other friends met their fiancés on Tinder. We had several friends who were in serious relationships because of Tinder.”
Alex: “My boss had asked me, and I said through a friend just so I don’t have to explain what it is.”
Neda: “I feel like the older generation just doesn’t understand. But now, we’re just open with everybody because we don’t care at this point. And, it’s become more well-known. At first, I showed my parents, I had to re-download the app, because they didn’t get it. It was too much of a pain to go through that with everyone. I’d say a restaurant — which wasn’t a lie because we did meet at a restaurant. [laughs]”
Can you walk us through your engagement story?
Neda: “I had no idea [it was coming] because my dad was supposed to be in Iran and I knew Alex wouldn’t propose to me while my dad was out of the country. We were supposed to have dinner and drinks with my cousin...
"We park the car and we're walking, then we found this little lookout and he said, 'Let's take a selfie.' So, we took a picture, and he said, 'Let’s look at the photo we just took.' He had made a photo album of all these pictures of us from the past year, and all these things we had done. At this point, I knew something was going on. I kind of blacked out and he asked me to stand up, and I start crying. I don’t even know what he said, but he got down on one knee, and pulled out the ring.
"We went to my mom’s house after, and my dad was there, he lied about going to Iran! I was crying when I saw him. My best friend, who is my maid of honor, had flown in to surprise me. All my family was there. My best friends from college had sent these cookies with our faces on them. I just lost it.”